In everyone’s life, there will be different phases of happiness. Being born, celebrating birthdays, passing examinations, getting a job, getting increments, promotions and getting married.
All the above will be there for minutes, hours or even days. But there’s one form of happiness, which one cherish from day one to the last day of one’s life. If you still don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s becoming a parent.
One doesn’t become a parent in a single day, it takes lots of commitment, courage, dedication, stress, pain and what not. In the whole process, we men, even after in our best, can only be emotional and moral strength to the precious women.
Yes, women are really precious. Till last year I thought only mothers are precious, but I was wrong. Every single women in the universe is precious, I realised that only after a woman entered my life, the one who entered to complete my life.
After being with my wife since the day we got married, I witnessed every single difficulties she faced. I was a mere spectator as I couldn’t handle most of them, the day she started throwing up, I couldn’t bear her pain as she kept crying for hours. It was just a start, which made me weak. I knew she was a strong woman but even the stronger women wouldn’t have crossed that phase without any struggles.
Slowly her tummy grew, her back pain grew, her struggles grew, her work load grew and my love her you too grew, abundantly. I might haven’t shown it to her explicitly but it was all there inside, trapped without a way to communicate. Those who know me know that how strong I am, but the pain my wife endured shook me and broke all my barriers.
My wife started her days broody, took care of the daily chores with a wide smile, brought me coffee to bed every morning to wake me up, got ready for office and worked 8-10 hours a day on her job. After coming back from office, she will be all dull, tolerating the pain, and exhausted, that was when I try to pitch in, but she never really made me do anything except when she was really sick. I don’t know how I can return the same favour to her.
Slowly my work became a barrier in spending the little amount of quality personal time we spend daily, but she, as a matured woman, didn’t complain that to me. I knew that she needed me the most, but I couldn’t be there, as a husband, a lover, a friend and as a companion. She was being a good moral support to me where I should have been the one who should have done that. I owe you a lot my wife. I don’t know how you endured all the pain in last three months when I was away from you, working all day when you were sick and bearing the pain all day. I know you won’t forgive me, but I don’t know how I can repay those emotions to you. Without you being my side, being cooperative and understanding my situations, I wouldn’t have been at this position.
The day she started getting labour pain, I became more anxious than anyone else. Most of the hospital managements in India isn’t allowing the husband to be with wife at the time of labor and unfortunately we ended up in one of such hospitals. All I could hear was she screaming loud, calling my name most of the time. When they let me in for few minutes to spend time with her, the lady who always sport a lovely smile in her face was tired of crying with tears flowing all the way through her eyes to cheeks. I stumbled for a moment, many questions popped up in my mind, how can I make her smile again, how can I convey her that it all will be over in few hours. I had no answers for any of those. I tried to joke about the people I met outside, I tried to do things she always love in my, but the smile never came back.
All she wanted was a hug, me being dumb, didn’t think exactly that one. Later I hugged her and the smile came back. She started holding my hands very tight and asked me to stay with her, but the nurses were keen on following their orders, to get me out as there were baby ladies who were suffering the same labor pain, which I don’t really complain. But I do feel that the hospital manager should allow the husbands with the wives when they go through labour. I couldn’t see her eyes but I left with a smile saying that she will be alright. But only I know how much I cried outside the hospital. That was she just after the first phase of labour and I couldn’t even stand that, but she, like every women do, went through two more phases to get us a new baby.
Yes, my wife Dhivya and I are blessed by a baby boy on 12th March, 2018. We are happy to announce you the happiest news.
That moment was the most beautiful and important moments of my life. My wife made my family complete and our son made my life complete. I wouldn’t take the credit for the pain she endured, it is her baby and she’s my baby.
If you men are newly married or expecting a baby, please make sure you are always with your wife at the time of labour and make sure the hospital management allows that. That’s the most important time where the wife needs her husband and I missed that.
Being a parent is the real happiness in the world for me right now. I, for one, can say that I am one of the happiest men in the world.
If you have doubts that if my love for you, I love you, I love you a lot. Even the most beautiful words can’t explain or describe the love I have for you. Till last month I loved for what you are, now I love you more for what you have endured.
I don’t really know if I have been a good support for you through your pregnancy, but I will assure you that I will be doing my best even beyond my best to take care of you from now.
I still regret the day I missed our baby’s first ultrasound. I couldn’t bear the pain that I missed it just because I was just few floors below from where you were, my wife. That day I decided that I wouldn’t see our baby in images, I made up myself that I will wait for 40 weeks to see our baby. You might have thought that I was lazy coming to hospital but that wasn’t true. The real reason is that I wanted to see our baby in person, than seeing on ultrasound. Now, I would say that it is worth the wait.
Do you see why it’s worth the wait?
When I lifted you last year, I wasn’t afraid or weak as I considered I was strong enough to carry you. But when I lifted our son for the first time, I didn’t know what exactly happened, did I lose all my weight or did he gained all my weight, I was terrified that I should handle him with care. I was happy, happier, the happiest from that moment.
It’s all because of you my wife, you became a mom who will take care of our son. I assure you that I will be a mom who takes care of you and our son.
When you are old enough to read this, I want you to read this first. The day you born was the day your mother reborn. You should never forget the fact that you are here only because of the pain your mother endured. I respect and love my mom, but after seeing what your mom has gone through, I started loving my mom even more. You mom has one of the most beautiful smiles in the world.
See for yourself.
Let us both take a vow that we will make sure that the smile sticks to where it belongs.
Prabakaran Thodithot Sembiyan