Previously on Single, but wedlocked
Ankita a MNC employee fell in love with Ajay, yet another MNC employee who runs his own YouTube channel about cooking. Ankita and Ajay talked to each other and liked each other in the beginning, later Ankita told Ajay that she’s married, awaiting divorce, which gave a shock to Ajay. When Ajay was unable to get out of the shock, Ankita confessed that she’s in love with Ajay.
Ajay told Ankita, “I’m not able to look at your eyes when I talk with you. I simply couldn’t see your eyes as I’m not having the guts to fall in love which is uncertain. Ankita, somehow I had gone gutless now, when it comes to the relationship part. It is not about the few months of togetherness I’m been thinking about, it’s about the next 40-50 years of togetherness with a you, which makes me think, I can’t afford a single hasty decision”. Ankita felt that Ajay’s answer is sensible, still she said, “I love you Ajay, just because I say I love you, you need not answer me, you need not tell the same unless and until you feel it”. Ankita replied, “Yes, Ajay, I understood that you have Philophobia, Take care, meet you soon”. They both bid goodbye for the day as the evening became dark and darker.
For few days the messages and calls were monotonous, they hardly spoke, even when they were on call, they spoke like the two brothers who fought for the ancestral property, yes, there was no love, no attachments and full of coldness between the two of them. None of them were ready to come out of the coldness and strike a normal conversation like how they used to. Leaving everything behind, Ajay decided to initiate The Talk. The talk about their present, and the past.
Ajay : Ankita, I would like to ask you something. What defines love for you?
Ankita : Ajay, Love to me is an emotion which is hard to describe. Love to me is a peck on the forehead and a cuddle in the coldest day, yes, love to me is the warmth a person can give.
Ajay : So, for you love means intimacy? Sorry if I’m wrong. I can’t decode unless you tell things straight.
Ankita : No Ajay, It isn’t about intimacy, I described in a way like how we all long for being warm in winter season, you are such a person who brings warmth to my winter. You wouldn’t believe that until I met you, I have always decided to be alone, now, forever and always but the moment I saw you, everything shattered into million pieces.
Ajay : I guess that’s enough Ankita. I don’t have any more questions. I just wanted to know why you went cold for these many days. We haven’t been talking like how we used to be before, that’s why I wanted to have the talk. I’m sorry for bringing this up.
Ankita : Ajay, If your next question is about how much I love you or how do I measure the love I have on you, this is my answer, “ I’m practicing very hard not to be in touch continuously as I know it will increase my care on you and you might get annoyed. I am ready to let you go when you and I can’t be us, I will take care of the disappointment myself, later. I love you that much.” To be honest, I didn’t fall in love, I rise in love, because of you.
Days passed by, Ajay was in a state of confusion whether he really loves her or just like her. He went into a dilemma in deciding on Ankita. Ajay to himself, “There is no shortcomings in Ankita, okay, except that she’s an year older. Nope, she’s also married, but that’s it right? Nope, she’s awaiting divorce and I don’t know anything about her past life except that she’s been abused a lot. Am I in love with her? I don’t think so, may be not yet? May be, may be not. But how long can I go in a confused state like this? I have to decide something soon, else this might become a big issue out of the blue. Yes, it is time for me to decide a yes or no.” The more Ajay thought about Ankita, the more he became afraid of losing her. He wanted to clear the air between Ankita and him by having some open talks as once the relationship begins there’s no point of looking back, according to Ajay.
Ajay called Ankita and decide to open up few things which he had in his mind, “Hey Ankita, I have few things to say. We both know each other for just few months, we hardly know each other, you might like me now because you haven’t witnessed the other side of me, the other side is nothing but the selfish side of mine where I get angry when people annoy and irritate me. So please do reconsider your thoughts.”
Ankita took it sportive as she always does, she always knew that Ajay will bring the discussion about the number of months or weeks, or just say time they know each other. She was ready for that question as well, she replied,
Ajay, it’s not that a day, a month or a year or ten years of love, but love is love the moment I started loving you. You can’t measure how much I do love you, even I couldn’t measure. This is totally my perspective, yours might be different, I agree but this is how I function, always. I have been in a relationship without any part of love only and now I’m full of love, my love for you but not in a relationship. So practically I have been in both the extremes.
Initially what I had on you was just a crush but it developed as love without my knowledge, when I started talking to you. If he answer from your side is negative, it will definitely be an impact for me but I will take it with both hands as I have expressed my love for you. Don’t worry, I won’t be disturbing you once your answer is negative for me. I’ll just disappear the same way how I used to be when I was having crush on you. But you can always count on me, whenever you need someone I’m always there.
After such open talk with Ankita about the relationship part, Ajay’s confusions were straightened out. He became quite clear about what he wants. A month passed by, still Ajay didn’t answer for Ankita’s proposal, every time he want to answer, something stops him. A question of What if? What if the society don’t accept them as a couple? Too many questions in his mind spoiled his present, yes, the more he was concerned about his future, the more he lost the present moments with her.
Ankita’s words reverberated in his ears strongly, “Ajay, you are someone who is very special to me at this moment of my life, you gave me back the smile I have lost years ago, you made me smile, I owe you the same. I wish to be your smile, I wish to be your pain and the medicine to cure the same. Also Ajay, we don’t get this feeling which tells us he/she is the one for us, but when I started talking to you, I always felt you are the one, one and only. I haven’t told how much I love you yet, yes, all these days I’m just showing you the glimpses of it, but if I start expressing my love towards you, I don’t really know how you will react. I love you to the core, nope, I love you beyond the core. In my heart I always say I’m yours, you are mine. I know I’m selfish, but at times being selfish is good, for the individual.”
Ajay revisited his past, he had been in relationships once when he was in school, and once when he was in college, each time he was the one who tried to give the love as much as he can, but for the first time he is at the receiving end. He is getting all the love he could possibly never imagine, Ajay is happy but unable to express the same towards her, she, Ankita, really became his medicine. Ankita is the person who really admired his skills in cooking when others were just teasing him that he is wasting his time. Ankita even made him special by proposing him on the road. All that he thought that could only happen in movies, started happening to him. He finally found a girl, oops, a woman, who loves him the most in the world. He knows that love is all about seizing the moment and he decided to seize it this time. He wants to make it a surprise to Ankita that he is going to accept her proposal.
Ajay texted Ankita, “Hey Ankita, you free?”
Ankita replied, “Always, for you, Ajay.”
Ajay sent her a text, a small poem which he thought was one.
Yet so far.
You waited so long,
I could write you a song.
Words aren’t flowing,
As my face is glowing.
All consequences apart,
I accept your heart.
Ankita replied, “Ajay, I never thought you would write a poem for me, I really love it. It is not the content I love, it is your effort in writing something to make me smile. As I told you before, you know how to make me smile. I love you Ajay.”
Ajay told Ankita that he will talk to his parents but not alone, along with her. They decided on a date and Ajay took Ankita to his home.
*Ajay rings the bell*
Ajay’s Dad : Hey Ajay, how are you?
Ajay : I’m fine dad, I’m here to talk something personal, decided I should drop by in person instead of having the conversation over the call.
Dad : *calls Ajay’s mom* Honey, come here, Ajay came from Mumbai, seems he wants to have a chat with us.
Mom : Hey Ajay, *hugs him*, what happened Ajay, is everything okay at work? Are you alright? You are fine know? First come inside. leave your luggage and have a seat.
Ajay : Mom, dad, I brought someone with me. This is Ankita, I want to talk with both of you, it’s something personal.
*Mom and dad, with a curious face, welcomes Ankita inside too*
Ajay : Mom, I love her.
Mom and Dad : What else are we expecting from you now? Is there any other shocking news left?
Ankita : Aunty, I’m married.
*mom and dad are spell bounded now*
Ankita : I’m about to apply for divorce, so I’m a divorcee to be.
Mom and Dad : Ajay, we should have a private conversation now.
To be continued…
Philophobia: The fear of falling in love or emotional attachment.
Prabakaran Thodithot Sembiyan